Monday, June 21, 2010

CUTE NEW COUPLES SUCK!

So I was on the phone with my wife earlier tonight, and she was telling me about about this new couple that we both know. I'm sitting there listening to her tell me how they were sooo romantic. You know how new couples act. It's disgusting sometimes :)  Anyway I was listening to her tell me how he got her flowers and how she was so surprised and I started thinking.......I CANT HAVE THAT SHIT!!!
 Lol! I can't have her looking at another couple wishing we were like them. So, I believe its time. Time to hit her with the romance, starting with this post. A short story.

Eh eh ehhm. ( Btw, that's supposed to be me clearing my throat. ;)

Let the romance begin.


Its Monday morning. 9 am. I awake in my bed.

I think to myself, "I should get up. As usual there's a lot I have to accomplish today. Time to take a shower and start my day, but wait a sec.............somethings wrong. I feel a little off today." I shrug it off, get out of bed, go the bathroom to...well ya know... I slowly trample down to the kitchen and begin to drink a glass of water. But as I slowly drink the water, I think to myself...hmmm that's weird, why does the water taste like that? Huh, maybe it's just because it's a Monday morning. Everything probably taste weird. Immediately I remember, oh yeah I haven't prayed yet. 

I go back upstairs to my room, get on my knees and pray. I find it harder to focus this morning than usual. My mind wanders and I can't seem to find peace. I finish praying, get up and start getting ready to take a shower. I realize I have a whole day planned and I have to get started. I move toward the bathroom and find that my body feels foreign. It's slow and sluggish. I fight through it, ignore it and get ready to take a shower. Interestingly enough as soon as the water hits me, it feels ice cold. So cold it burns. I quickly turn the knob to change the temperature, but no matter which way I turn it, it only gets colder. I decide that I'll just quickly take a shower, and get it over with.

After I finish drying off, I begin to brush my teeth and I suddenly realize why the glass of water I drank seemed a little off. It was the same reason why the toothpaste was off.

My mouth wasn't registering the taste. No that wasn't right. There was a taste, but it was strong. Impenetrable, yet empty. And it blocked everything else.

No matter how hard I scrubbed or how much toothpaste I used, the foreign taste remained. It was the taste of void. A nothingness that held my taste buds in a tight embrace. By this point I knew I should have been worried but once again I just shrugged it off. I began to put my clothes on, and although it was my favorite shirt and pants, something came over me yet again. I took the clothes off. Deciding that they weren't what I wanted to wear that day. I looked in my closet and although I had a compendium of clothing, nothing seemed to look right. I finally decided to wear my most expensive shirt and pants. Those clothes always made me look great....except for today. Today they seemed like old, dusty rags.

Finally, I grabbed my keys and headed for the front door, intent on starting my day regardless of how I felt. When I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It was sitting on the sill of an open window next to the front door. My hand paused on the door knob. I looked at the thing sitting on my windowsill, and it looked at me.

It was a raven.

A small beautiful raven. It looked at me as though it knew me. It had wisdom in its eyes, and a strange calm that was almost unnatural. The way it looked at me should have freaked me out, and if that didn't, what happen next should have. It spoke to me. It said, "Don't u want to know?" I froze with my hand on the door knob and decided to do the only thing I could think of. I answered back, "Don't I want to know what?" The raven looked at me intently and said, "Don't u want to know why?"

It tilted it's head to the side and said to me, "Your skin, it burns ice cold. It is a reflection of your heart when she isn't near you. Your mouth, it tastes of void. It is because only the fiery passion of her kiss can melt away the emptiness within. Your mind, it wanders and holds little peace. It is because she embodies safety. Security. You think your clothes are inadequate. It is not your clothes, it is you. For she is apart of you, and without her, you are inadequate." I looked at the raven, comprehension evident on my face. I ask, "Who is she?" The raven replied, "You know who she is. She is a gift." I say to myself, more so than to the raven, "Yes, she is. A gift from God. A glimpse into heavens warm embrace. She is my heaven on earth. I need her more than the I could have ever imagined. Where is she raven?" The raven replied, "On the other side of this door. When u awake, remember this: take care to cherish this gift. For it is not given to many." I decided that for a raven, he was pretty wise. I said "I will. Today, tomorrow and always."
As I finished the sentence I walked through the door and woke up.

It was Monday morning. 9 am. I looked to my right and saw her sleeping next to me. I wrapped my arms around her, and held her tight. At that moment I decided that today, the only thing that mattered, was her.



Dedicated to my lovely amazing wife, Xochilt Williams. I love you baby


P.S TAKE THAT CUTE NEW COUPLE!!!!! (Victory dance...)

Monday, March 29, 2010

Hilarious Dating Video!!!

Okay, so check out this video! Never ever ever ever EVER do something like this! No matter how desperate your love life is! LMAO!!!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Ten things you must know to be an awesome person

We all want to know the secret to being the awesomest ( yes that's a word...maybe) person in the world. You meet someone in the street and you say to yourself, "Man, that persons awesome! How did they get so awesome?" Well my friend, I have the answers.

10) Know when to use the word F@ck.

Yes, that's right my friend. This is a powerful word, and when used correctly, can seriously boost your awesomeness. Don't overly use the

Friday, March 26, 2010

The Three Rules of Love

1) Trust
Trust is the main reason why love fails. It doesn't always have to be infidelity. Trust spreads through finances, leadership of your family, etc. You have to trust the other person to make good decisions. If you don't, then the relationship doesn't stand a chance.

2) Communication
Men are from mars, women are from planet fla-fluga.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

A Man's Role in a Relationship

One of the coolest things about being a guide in the field of love and relationships, is that I've learned one important thing... how to effectively play my role (as the man) in the relationship. So this first post is going to be to the men, who are failing in their relationships because they don't know what their role is. And the next post will be to the women! That's right, I'm coming after you next!!! Mwahahahaha!!!....sorry about that. :)
Now, let the kung fu begin!!!!!

In this post I will effectively separate the boys from the MEN! The number one reason why men suck at developing an awesome relationship with their significant other, is because they don't know what the hell they're doing! I could write a whole book on the topic, but for the sake of this blog, I will name only a few points that should be taken into consideration when in a relationship with a woman.

Number 1: DON'T BE AN ASS!!!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The Do's and Dont's of a New Relationship

The Do's and Dont's of a new relationship are the first thing you learn when becoming a guide in the art of love. They are simple, but powerful when applied correctly. So read on, and be amazed as you take your first step in The Love Guide 101! Class is now in session.

Do: Slowly begin to learn the in's and out's of your companions personality. Learn what they like, what they don't like. Learn their habits. Especially the ones that you consider bad. That way when they do them, you won't be shocked or caught off guard.

Don't: Become overbearing or clingy. Being clingy and overly obsessed with the other person can kill a relationship faster than you can say, Brad-Pitts-nasty-beard!