One of the coolest things about being a guide in the field of love and relationships, is that I've learned one important thing... how to effectively play my role (as the man) in the relationship. So this first post is going to be to the men, who are failing in their relationships because they don't know what their role is. And the next post will be to the women! That's right, I'm coming after you next!!! Mwahahahaha!!!....sorry about that. :)
Now, let the kung fu begin!!!!!
In this post I will effectively separate the boys from the MEN! The number one reason why men suck at developing an awesome relationship with their significant other, is because they don't know what the hell they're doing! I could write a whole book on the topic, but for the sake of this blog, I will name only a few points that should be taken into consideration when in a relationship with a woman.
Number 1: DON'T BE AN ASS!!!!
Now let me explain. Its okay to be a little bit of a jerk, but don't be an ass. We all know as men, that women (usually most of them), are attracted to bad boys. Think about it. Back in high school the cute girls all fell for the guys on the football team, or basketball team, or polo team, or whatever! And usually they were all guys who didn't give a rats ass about the girl they were with and treated them like crap. But no matter how much of an ass they were, girls still loved them, right? Now lets flip it. Even though girls might have been attracted to the bad boys, they never stayed with them. Why? Because they grew up. Girls became women, who decided they wanted a guy who actually cared about them. But even though they now want a nice guy who cares about them, they don't want a guy who's too nice. Why? Because he's boring, and boring isn't attractive.
So Mr. Ninja, what the hell are you saying???
I'm saying it's all about balance. Women want a guy who's 20% Jerk 80% Nice guy. Women don't want bad boys, because they're just that, boys. And they don't want a total nice guy, because nice guys are boring. So when you're sitting on the couch watching CSI with your women and she asks you to get her a glass of water, say something sarcastic...then dazzle her with a charming smile, and get the dam water.
Number 2: Talk to her!
Lets get one thing clear, women do not exist on this earth to feed and F#@K YOU! Yes if they love you, they will do those things, but that is not the extent of their existence. I have a friend who I talk to every few weeks, and I always ask him how his relationship is with his girlfriend. And every time I ask, he tells me how messed up things are. Why? Because every time they have a problem, she wants to discuss it, thereby dealing with it, and he simply refuses to talk to her. Whenever she tries to talk about a problem in the relationship, he wont say anything. He ignores her. Talking for women, is like breathing. If you don't talk to them, and allow them to talk to you, you'll suffocate the relationship. Nothing will ever get solved. You'll end up with problems stacked on problems, and when ever you're with them it'll be harder and harder to connect. So talk to her, when the two of you are having problems, when she needs a sounding board, when needs advice, when you're just driving on a sunny Sunday afternoon. Talk to her.
Number 3: BE THE MAN!
Be the man in the relationship. Take charge. Okay...that's pretty self explanatory, but allow me to delve deeper. As the man in the relationship, we tend to do one of two things. Either we try to handle every aspect of the relationship, thereby ignoring what the women wants and doing whatever we feel is best. OR, we let her take charge of everything. You ever see those sitcoms where the mom is ordering the kids around and cleaning up the house and looking over the bills, while the dad is on the couch looking at television with a beer in his hand, doing absolutely nothing? I HATE THAT SH#T! Why? Because now the mom is the head of the house running everything while the dad has been demoted to being treated as one of the kids. IT AINT RIGHT I TELLS YA!!! What ends up happening is that the guy starts to feel like the woman in the relationship. As men, we have to take charge of our family. Whether the family consists of you and your wife/girlfriend, or a family with 3 kids. A woman appreciates a strong man to lead her, as long as we make sure to include her opinions and feelings. We must remember that if we don’t take charge and lead, as we were meant to do, the woman will lead for us. And trust me, when that starts to happen, you're going to be in a hell of a lot of trouble.
Number 4: Be the Rock!
No, not the pro wrestler/semi-decent actor. Although, lets face it, we all want to be that guy. No, be the rock in the relationship. Be the one thing that's sturdy and unchanging. Be strong enough to shoulder the concerns, disappointments and tragic moments that will occur during the course of your relationship. There's nothing worse in a woman's eyes than a weak man. It's ok to be sensitive, in touch with your feminine side, and all that good stuff. But when a loved one dies, or she has a miscarriage, or her mother tells her she's a failure, you have to be strong enough to lift her up in those rough times. Show her that you love her no matter what happens, and whatever you can do to help her in her time of need, you’ll do. Period.
Number 5: Be Her Knight in Shining Armor!
Okay, last but not least, be her knight! Her Romeo! Her Robin Hood! Be that guy on Twilight that we all F@#KING HATE! Be that guy! What do I mean? Do I mean go out and try to figure out how to become a sparkling vampire? Hell no! What I mean is this, give her what she wants. Give her you, to the fullest. And then give her more. Alright here's an example. My girlfriend likes to be taken care of, so what do I do? I provide for her. I pay for as much as I can as often as I can. She likes romance, so every now and then we spend a weekend out of town, alone. She likes it when I make her laugh, so I make her laugh as much as I can. All of those characteristics are those that are inherent in me. I do them because it's who I am. And when she needs a little something extra, I try my best to give that to her too. Being her Knight in Shining Armor means doing one thing, loving her to the fullest. And when you love her to the fullest, trust me, she'll love just that much more right back.
So there you have it. My five Principles to achieving the perfect role as the Man in the relationship. USE THEM!!! And I promise, she fall all over you. And speaking of the women, my next post is for you. So stay tuned! For my Kung Fu is STRONG!!!!